"And Yahuah Elohim said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him... Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." - Genesis 2:18, 24
Marriage was Yahuah's idea. Before sin entered the world, before any institution or government, Yahuah created marriage. It is not a human invention to be redefined - it is a divine institution with divine purposes.
Marriage Is:
Created by Yahuah - Not by government, church, or culture
Between one man and one woman - By design, not tradition
A covenant - Not merely a contract
For life - "Till death do us part"
A picture of Messiah and His Bride - Profound spiritual meaning
"This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Messiah and the assembly. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." - Ephesians 5:32-33
The World's Attack
Marriage is under unprecedented attack because the enemy knows its spiritual significance. If he can destroy marriage, he destroys:
The picture of Messiah and His Bride
The primary place of child-raising
The foundation of stable society
The environment for godly intimacy
Every marriage that thrives is a victory against darkness!
1The Purpose of Marriage
Why Did Yahuah Create Marriage?
1. Companionship
"It is not good for man to be alone." Marriage provides intimate companionship unlike any other relationship. You have a partner in life's joys and sorrows.
2. Completion
Man and woman together reflect the image of Elohim more fully than either alone. We complement each other's strengths and weaknesses.
3. Procreation
"Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth." - Genesis 1:28
Marriage is the proper context for bringing children into the world and raising them in Yahuah's ways.
4. Pleasure
"Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth." - Proverbs 5:18
Physical intimacy within marriage is a gift to be enjoyed, not merely tolerated.
5. Picture of the Gospel
Marriage between husband and wife portrays Messiah's relationship with His people - sacrificial love and joyful submission. Your marriage preaches the gospel!
6. Protection
Marriage provides physical, emotional, and spiritual protection for both partners. A covenant relationship offers security that dating or cohabitation cannot.
Reflection: Why Did You Marry?
What were your reasons for getting married? How do they align with Yahuah's purposes?
2The Husband's Role
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Messiah also loved the assembly, and gave Himself for it." - Ephesians 5:25
The husband's role is defined by sacrificial love and servant leadership, not domination.
The Husband As:
LOVER - Sacrificial Love
Love your wife AS MESSIAH loved the assembly. How did He love?
He died for her (ultimate sacrifice)
He washed her with the Word (spiritual care)
He cherishes her as His own body
He is patient and kind with her weaknesses
This is not feelings-based love - it is action-based, choice-based love.
LEADER - Servant Leadership
Headship is responsibility, not privilege. The head leads by:
"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." - 1 Timothy 5:8
Provide for physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. This doesn't mean the wife can't work, but the husband bears primary responsibility.
PROTECTOR - Guarding the Family
Protect your wife and children from:
Physical danger
Spiritual attack
Emotional harm (including from yourself!)
Worldly influences
Common Husband Failures
Passivity - Refusing to lead, letting wife carry everything
Harshness - Leading by anger and control, not love
Neglect - Prioritizing work, hobbies, screens over wife
Selfishness - Expecting to be served rather than serving
For Husbands: Self-Examination
Rate yourself 1-10 on:
Sacrificial love for my wife: ___
Spiritual leadership in my home: ___
Providing for my family's needs: ___
Protecting my family: ___
What is one area where you will improve this week?
3The Wife's Role
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto Yahuah. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Messiah is the head of the assembly." - Ephesians 5:22-23
The wife's role is defined by respectful support and wise help, not weakness or inferiority.
The Wife As:
HELPER - Ezer Kenegdo
The Hebrew word ezer (helper) is used of Yahuah Himself as our helper! This is not a degrading term. Kenegdo means "corresponding to" or "fit for."
A wife completes what her husband lacks. She brings perspective, skills, and insight he doesn't have.
RESPECTER - Honor His Leadership
"The wife see that she reverence her husband." - Ephesians 5:33
Respect is to men what love is to women - it's their primary need. This includes:
Speaking respectfully (especially in public)
Supporting his decisions
Not undermining his authority with children
Believing in him even when he fails
SUBMITTER - Willing Support
Biblical submission is:
Voluntary (not forced)
Unto "your own husband" (not all men)
"As unto Yahuah" (spiritual significance)
Like the assembly to Messiah (joyful, trusting)
Submission is NOT weakness, silence, or blind obedience to sin. A wife can and should share her wisdom with her husband.
HOMEMAKER - Creating Home
"To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of Elohim be not blasphemed." - Titus 2:5
Whether or not she works outside the home, a wife sets the tone and atmosphere of the household.
Competing - Fighting for headship rather than helping
For Wives: Self-Examination
Rate yourself 1-10 on:
Being a helpful partner: ___
Speaking respectfully of my husband: ___
Supporting his leadership: ___
Making our home a place of peace: ___
What is one area where you will improve this week?
4Becoming One Flesh
"And they shall be one flesh." - Genesis 2:24
Marriage creates a unique union - two becoming one. This is more than physical; it is a spiritual reality.
Dimensions of Oneness:
Dimension
What It Means
How to Cultivate
Spiritual
United in faith, worship, purpose
Pray together, study together, serve together
Emotional
Deep knowing, vulnerability, trust
Share feelings, listen deeply, be present
Intellectual
Shared goals, dreams, conversations
Dream together, plan together, discuss ideas
Physical
Sexual union, affection
Regular intimacy, nonsexual touch, presence
Social
Shared community, friendships
Couple friendships, hospitality together
Leave and Cleave:
Genesis 2:24 gives two commands for oneness:
LEAVE - Your primary loyalty shifts from parents to spouse
CLEAVE - Stick like glue, hold fast, bond permanently
Threats to Oneness
Unresolved conflict
Outside attachments (parents, friends, screens)
Secrets and deception
Neglect of any dimension
Selfishness
5Communication & Conflict
"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." - Proverbs 15:1
Healthy Communication:
Speak truth in love - Be honest but kind
Listen to understand - Not just to respond
Use "I" statements - "I feel..." not "You always..."
Choose timing wisely - Not when tired or angry
Stay on topic - Don't bring up old issues
Conflict Resolution:
The Rule: Don't Let the Sun Go Down
"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." - Ephesians 4:26
Resolve conflicts quickly. Don't let bitterness take root.
Fair Fighting Rules:
Never use the word "divorce" as a threat
No yelling, name-calling, or physical aggression
Stay on the issue at hand
Take breaks if needed, but return to resolve
Seek to understand before being understood
Look for win-win solutions
Forgive fully and don't bring it up again
Pray together when resolved
Communication Practice
Set aside 15 minutes this week to discuss:
What makes you feel most loved?
What's one thing I could do better as your spouse?
What's a dream you have for our future?
Rules: No interrupting. Repeat back what you heard. Thank them for sharing.
6Physical Intimacy
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers Elohim will judge." - Hebrews 13:4
Physical intimacy is a gift from Yahuah for married couples - to be enjoyed, not endured!
Biblical Principles:
1. Regular and Mutual
"Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not." - 1 Corinthians 7:5
Neither spouse should deprive the other long-term. Both have legitimate needs.
2. Giving, Not Taking
Focus on pleasing your spouse, not just being pleased. True intimacy is mutual service.
3. Protected Space
Your intimate life is between you, your spouse, and Yahuah. Don't compare, don't discuss with others, don't let outside influences (pornography, media) distort it.
4. More Than Physical
For women especially, emotional connection fuels physical desire. Intimacy throughout the day (conversation, affection, helping) leads to intimacy in the bedroom.
Unresolved conflict - Hard to be intimate when angry
Children in bed - Protect your space
Screens in bedroom - Compete for attention
7Marriage & Children
"Lo, children are an heritage of Yahuah: and the fruit of the womb is His reward." - Psalm 127:3
Children are a blessing, but they can also strain a marriage if not handled wisely.
Keeping Marriage First:
Your marriage existed before children and will exist after they leave
The best thing you can do FOR your children is love their other parent
Date nights and couple time are not selfish - they're essential
Children feel secure when parents are unified
Parenting as a Team:
Present a united front to children
Discuss disagreements privately, not in front of kids
Support each other's discipline decisions
Don't let children divide and conquer
Father leads, mother supports - both are essential
Child-Centered vs Marriage-Centered
Many modern families make children the center of everything. This creates:
Entitled children
Neglected marriages
Empty nest crisis when kids leave
Your marriage should be the hub around which family life revolves.
8Enemies of Marriage
Know your enemy! These forces work to destroy your marriage:
Enemy
How It Attacks
Defense
Selfishness
"My needs first"
Daily dying to self, serving spouse
Busyness
No time for each other
Schedule couple time, protect it
Pornography
Destroys intimacy, creates shame
Accountability, filters, flee temptation
Emotional Affairs
Sharing intimacy outside marriage
Boundaries with opposite sex
In-Laws
Divided loyalty, interference
"Leave and cleave," kind boundaries
Financial Stress
Arguments, pressure
Budgeting, communication, trust Yahuah
Unforgiveness
Bitterness, keeping score
Forgive as Messiah forgave you
"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." - 1 Peter 5:8
9Healing & Restoration
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9
Every marriage goes through difficult seasons. Yahuah can restore what seems broken!
Steps Toward Healing:
Acknowledge the Problem - Denial doesn't help
Take Responsibility - Own your part, don't blame-shift
Seek Help - Godly counselor, trusted mentor
Forgive Fully - As Messiah forgave you
Rebuild Trust - Through consistent action over time
Create New Patterns - Don't just stop bad; start good
Be Patient - Healing takes time
On Forgiveness
Forgiveness is:
A choice, not a feeling
Releasing them to Yahuah
Not excusing the wrong
Not necessarily immediate restoration of trust (trust is earned)
Required by Yahuah (Matthew 6:14-15)
"A marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day." - Barbara De Angelis
"For I hate divorce, saith Yahuah Elohim of Israel... therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." - Malachi 2:16
Conclusion: A Covenant of Grace
Marriage is hard work - and it's worth it. Two imperfect people committing to love each other until death is only possible by Yahuah's grace.
Daily Commitments:
I will love you even when I don't feel like it
I will respect you even when I disagree
I will forgive you as I have been forgiven
I will pursue you as long as I live
I will fight FOR our marriage, not against you
I will seek Yahuah together with you
"And above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of Elohim rule in your hearts... And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Master Yahusha, giving thanks to Elohim and the Father by Him." - Colossians 3:14-15, 17
May Yahuah bless your marriage and make it a testimony of His faithfulness!